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"I Have Learned" My Daily Affirmation

I have learned and I also practice detaching myself from anything that doesn’t serve me in a positive way.

I’ve learned how to use my words and speak life into them and also to use my voice to share my truth with deliverance so no one should be defensive or offended. I’ve learned how to be understanding and listen to all that is needed and not to comment or respond to everything, it is not always my place nor my issue but to be supportive in any way.

I need to keep myself grounded and have gratitude for all of the small things that I have acquired and all that I want to receive.

It was necessary for me to set boundaries for myself in order to protect my peace and not allow anyone or anything to disrupt my peace. I had to make space for myself to breathe and to be still because I kept allowing my schedule to control me and becoming overwhelmed that I was neglecting myself physically and mentally to the point where it was becoming unhealthy.

I had to look in the mirror and really look closely into the reflection of my eyes and the lines that were developing on my face, the bags under my eyes from the lack of rest that I was not receiving, the puffy eyes for tears that I continued to shed. For now, I only want to cry if it’s bringing me joy and happiness.

It took me a long time to get out of the darkness, the cluttered mind from a cluttered room, whereas I had barricaded myself because I didn’t feel safe but now, …I can shout victory for I have freed myself from the darkness and now I have the light within me.

I accepted the fact that I was lost, acknowledged, and searched… I couldn’t do it alone and I had to seek help once I was able to admit to myself that I needed to seek help. I then talked to a stranger, and they listened to my thoughts, fears, goals, patterns, and more.

My final step for me to get on the path to recovery was… I had to alter my patterns and hold on to faith…and act on the necessary steps so that I can become a new improved and better me I had to reinvent myself. It was like giving birth to me.

I know that if anyone can make the necessary changes in their lives for them to become a better human being no matter how painful, and hurtful it may be, trauma can put you in a dark space. As long as you can live with yourself and look in the mirror. You must be able to like yourself again and love yourself.

(Mental illness exists in all forms. Listen and observe your people and give and get support)

Written by FATAL

About the Writer

Since the early age of ten. I've participated in NAACP as a youth representative and also assisted with her grade school at PS 189 in Brooklyn.

In the early '90s, I moved to Canarsie to Breukelen houses and became the recording secretary of their resident association, Chairperson of the DEP (Department of Environmental Program) from 1992-1993 (better known as the drug elimination program) and was a part of the Breukelen head start advisory council.

When there was a lack of access to youth programming, the Community Center desired a football team and extra curriculum activities, so I organized with other parents to form a team called the Pop Warner football & Cheerleading team Canarsie Conquerors. during that time, I became a certified Pee wee coach, and a Parent coordinator and implemented a program for etiquette classes for girls, scared straight for boys, and homework assistance.

In 2008 I moved to Farragut Houses and I have participated as a member of the VIDA democratic club, and currently, a part of the ICAC intergenerational community arts council in Fort Greene sponsored and in partnership with BRIC Media Arts and University Settlement, and a member of lotus chapter #7 under the order of eastern stars / masonic brotherhood and during the height of the pandemic I volunteered with other residents to form Mutual aid groups in NYCHA and partner with the local MARP BID in distributing food to residents in NYCHA and the surrounding downtown Brooklyn area.

Follow Tanja Richardson on IG Tanja Ladyk Richardson (@fatal_star21)

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