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CHAPTER 5 -In my skin (Band Aid)


Does your life need a band-aide for the healing process to begin? A fully rounded human being’s success is determined by their willingness to survive. Spiritually and emotionally as a young girl in first grade, I recognized there was a problem with adults deciphering how to handle the pain of their own life issues. So, I had to figure out how I can take control of my life without their baggage. When the board of education made an error by handing me over to an outpatient institution for children with mental and physical disabilities that was where my nightmare began. I was diagnosed Incorrectly when I was 4 years old and later in life as an adult. I was able to read the paperwork later regarding my childhood based on several therapists’ beliefs and ideas about my mental health. I realized that when the foster care system was created it was damaged from the very beginning. It seemed as though every week in foster care programs, someone was either fighting, lacked proper medication, or simply never made it out alive. The truth is, I acknowledged how blessed I was to be alive after having more than two foster care parents try to kill me after trying to protect my brothers and sister. I was very overprotective of my siblings and went to bat for them at all costs. By the time you are eight years old, by nature, a child’s personality is formed naturally.


Finally, after being adopted for 2 years, teachers and my great aunt recognized that the Board of Education made a mistake, and I was retested. It was determined that I had dyslexia - I was not mentally ill or delayed. They believed there was something mentally wrong with me because of a classic behavior. This behavior was based on what children demonstrated when they were not learning how to read at the same level as many other children. As a result, I would walk out of class regularly in first grade. I didn't want anyone to know that I could not read, so whenever the teachers would ask me to spell a word or read, I would disappeared. This odd behavior came from fear of possibly being sent back to foster care with my brothers if there were any other issues. You would think that they would be able to detect my brilliance because I had memorized nine books and was able to deceive teachers and my new foster care mother at that time who was also a teacher.

You see at 5 years old I was able to make a full breakfast, set a table and clean and organize my brother’s daily activities. In my records, it talks about the foster care parents that tried to kill me and that I was molested but no one thought maybe this five-year-old little girl needed a break from life. So easily does the institution of foster care give medication as though it's the Band-Aid for every child and because I lived it, I know the real reason is to control children’s behavior to be more pliable. It is not to say that there aren't circumstances where medication can be beneficial if it is used correctly for the correct situation after the correct testing. It's like realizing you have a leak and instead of doing the real work to stop the leak, you get some putty and a small band-aid, and then you're confused about why there's a continuous leak. There are so many people today that fell through the cracks in the board of education and are judged today because they did not have the ability to learn with the structure of education that we as Americans have created.


I would hope we would implement a wellness program that is absolutely needed throughout the board of education to create balance by just adding a curriculum that creates self-worth because in reality, every child does not have the ability to see a positive life of success when their parents and the things around them say the opposite. Yes, at the end of the day we have freedom of choice so everyone will have to take responsibility for their actions and choices. As a human race, where can we implement support to give every person a more balanced opportunity to achieve mental and financial stability?


For we all know how important it is to be able to provide for one's human needs. We are clearly aware if we have a basic level of consciousness that anyone could choose to steal or kill if they are not given basic access to needs by having the tools to work towards an individual dream. So, the question here is are we giving the correct balance of wisdom and support to help manifest human beings with a full heart and mind? Are we creating broken humans that lack the ability to grow spiritually at even a basic level of common Sense? Many will teach religion but forget that common sense and a healthy temple with real food grown from the universe is the beginning of a brilliant mind. How can you decipher any quality of truth without a basic balanced Temple? Most realize that fast food was not the best decision and as we make money off of others being poisoned it is up to us to recognize this damage and to create balance in our CDC to make sure our minds are receiving the helping nutrition to be able to decipher truth or figure out how every human being can have a better life and outlet two opportunities. It's up to us as individuals to pay attention to reality and the truth we are living in.


When people don't have a way of taking care of themselves due to a learning disability or physical element, we open all types of dangerous P boxes not supporting the weak in our community and world. Just like slavery opened a dangerous Pandora’s box that let in all kinds of psychopaths pretending that they were just racist. Many slave owners were not racist they were psychopaths and narcissists and any other new words created today to describe Hitler's behavior. Evil will look to come through any door that we create in this world of balance. Human beings have the ability to learn from the past. Today we can create a world filled with opportunities with many outlets to heal no matter what circumstances you were given in life. It is up to us as human beings to protect ourselves from our own weaknesses and darkness. We can do this by creating and growing in this world. As a collective, we have the power to make our lives balanced and fair. Not allowing the truth to reveal itself via mind, soul and Spirit can create a delusion and that is why I wanted to be on the first episode of America's next top model.


I believe there was a facade that was created in Hollywood. What it truly is to be beautiful inside and out is hidden. I believe the first way to start is by practicing. The correct Band-Aid for hardship in your life circumstances is to begin by looking at your own image in the mirror. Ego can be the devil when it comes to asking for help. This can stop us from looking at the reality of broken hearts and minds that exist today in 2023. What has profoundly affected you as you have grown into an adult? Did you not have support from your parents or did the government decisions affect you in your life today? How would you take out the time to care for and nurture your mind, soul, and body? We start off by recognizing the truth whether we want to or not. For many years I wanted to run away from racism until the Creator said I'm going to put you on America's next top model, and everyone will say your skin texture is too rough. It taught me a beautiful lesson that you can't run from the problems of life. In this world, it is important for you to deal with reality. Helping your fellow human and finding divine solutions with the correct leaders that embody self-control by understanding the importance of self-worth in the freedom of choice. Allowing humans to have the opportunity whether they choose or not to be able to create successful journeys in life. It's up to us to learn from our past and recreate a new beginning.


Well, this week I'm detoxing because I've been through a lot this week. My best friend passed away Nora AKA Danielle reminded me that every day you're alive you have an opportunity to make a change within yourself that will affect the world. So, what do you need to find your heart, the child within??? to start the process of healing so you can truly see your greatest light that lies within you that's meant to be shared with the world. I'm doing the best I can right now to say no to the beautiful smells of macaroni and cheese and l say no with ease so I can be a leader of health. There's nothing wrong with treating yourself sometimes but I've got a lot of work to do, and the world needs me to be my best so let me get up and walk out of this living room before the macaroni and cheese falls in my mouth by accident. Till the next article beautiful ones!



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