Updated: Apr 9, 2022
Have you ever heard the expression "That's right up your alley?" That’s what you need. Or you need to contact that person to put you on! Follow me on Facebook. Add me on Instagram. Tell them about me. Google me. Like Me. Share me. RSVP. First come first serve. Ask for me at the door. Say my name and they will let you in free. Come to my show. Hook me up! What an overload of requests. A smug laundry list of things to do. Things to do that have all to do with you and no one else but you! Requests to make someone of no association ask the next man who do you think you are.
I am going to attempt to explain the real reason why our friends and family don’t show support. Here it goes. If someone else’s dream can become a reality with one click of a share button, why do people have such a hard time doing it? Then again why would you do that when you’re trying to get your own projects off of the ground? If you shared their projects that could possibly take away from what you are doing! Furthermore, they don’t have anything to offer you. Their clothing line, make up line and album that’s dropping in two hours is irrelevant to anything that is going on in your life right now. It’s not up your alley.
Welcome to a world of alley cats.
A backstreet ties the prospects, it makes things easier. Instead of taking a few years to break the code, it can take you a few months if you associate with the right people. In this case an alley is about half the size of what we are accustomed to. Imagine walking through a huge park that took you an entire hour to walk through only to find out there was a shortcut that would’ve taken you 15 minutes! A secret passage will delineate the people that are only in it for the paybacks, their cut, their big break. Character and integrity can open doors that longevity requires. But the hook up will challenge a real career or business based on how you got there.
It means that there are still people that are willing to work hard for their vision to manifest without using other people. It is apparent that in an indirect way; to get to the other side without disturbing the peace, some people feel that they have to use other people that appear to be moving up. I don’t know. The hook up. You can only receive a real hookup from links that could help you materialize a vision only if you had something tangible going on in your own life. Something on the table; and only self made people could relate let alone help you get there. Which brings me to the elephant in the room. When other people are too busy doing their own thing they don't have the time to support what you're doing unless it benefits them!
Let's Start From Scratch!
I remember when I first came to America, I was 6 years old. My mother, a South African beautiful woman raised two sisters and I with a job that paid little or close to nothing to cover the bills. She worked her way through school, managed to pay for law school for my two sisters and me well she put up with me! I didn’t realize until later how strong she really was. She didn't ask not one soul to help her. Not even her own flesh and blood. The entire family waited on her to fall but she never gave them the satisfaction. Nobody knew she was struggling and even if they did it would just be free publicity to make her work harder! Her siblings fed off of watching her struggle because it made them look like celebrities!
For those that go through life believing that impression deserves an exclamation point, a praise or an orchestra to play your theme music. Don't hold your breath. Some that know you are rapid fire with judgement. They don't see your gift and resist what you have to offer, even worse they still see you as the old person that you used to be. Strangers see the exact opposite! What kind of person are you? Are you pleasant? Are you direct? Do you love people and give them all that you can? Well let me be the first to formally counsel you. STOP IT! You are targeting the wrong folks with your vision. It's not about you and who you are. It's the tenacity and verve that you present so elegantly that the naysayers are observing. Yes. Some people will not be able to grasp your vision the same way you do. It does not apply to them and it is none of their business.
Do me a favor. Think about WHY you care if you receive support from people you know opposed to strangers that really appreciate your work.
Even though those things certainly are precarious motives why individuals don’t always support you, I think there are a few other grander details working beneath it all. Consider this…a lot of it deals predominantly with peoples diverse impressions of what kind of person they think you truly are, after all. They have decided that if you are not executing anything other than helpful deliverables that suits their needs they dont care about it. Trust me they will act like they don’t even see you. And they will make it their duty to make sure you do not to see them either while they hang on to your every move.
"If it’s not up their alley, they become invisible to you or if it is up their alley they may steal your ideas. Don't worry because they don't know the vision and your thoughts so it will never work. They are not you and you are not them."
Did I nail it? Because if I didn't I have so much more to give you. How about those family and friends anyway? You see them online moving around, shaking their heads behind the scenes at your efforts while they’re pretty much sitting in their pajamas doing zero with their dreams. I would be SMH too, but at them and their insecurities! What is the obvious? Is it much easier to put someone down while a person is down? Hell Yea! You can only raise someone up if you’re in a good place in your life! Have you ever noticed that when someone supports you they are living comfortably and living their dreams already! Those people have nothing to hate on, they are loving your progress, your vision and your drive. They want more of you around. Why? Because you motivate them to keep it up too!
That's how it's supposed to work.
But there are people that still believe that every man should be for themselves! I don't know. It's actually the dumbest thing I ever heard. People need people minus the bad energy. I gave up on family support, left them behind in high school due to negative energy. All they did was put me and my sisters down. I don’t even have family on my social media pages. They are too much of a distraction. While they were looking at that 6 year old boy, they failed to see a 38 year old progressive writer. I am a writer for six major magazines and on my first novel. I had to leave them behind. Because my creativity was far too advanced for them I wanted to share my creativity with people that appreciated my work. That was back in 1980 so I know they were not ready then and probably still not ready now. You can be someone’s inspiration and they will not give you a peek into how they truly feel about you. How self-regarding is that. I could be wrong but if someone inspires me I want them to know. I want them to know how much they’ve helped me get out of some mess. Because underneath all of that inspiration they are completely responsible for all of the promises that I had the pleasure of reaping.
"If they don't understand the vision, they will not support you...YET"
Fear. Sometimes, your family will care so much about you that when you do something that they don’t completely understand, they show no support…they don’t understand the vision. Renunciation is a really tricky thing. When someone let alone your own family and friends reject what you are sharing with the world it can be a strain on your rapport with them. Mainly because when things pick up you’ve moved on so long ago that you’re slight becomes an entirely altered drive! You are now “acting like you’re better than them!” They have awakened from the dead and they want you to acknowledge them acknowledging you! Fact is, this may not be something that you want to hear, but there could be two more common reasons why your “friends and family” aren’t sharing your work. They don’t want to. They just aren’t into the same things as you are into.
The reason could also be indifference.
Imagine after all of these years a person that you thought you knew very well didn't trust that you could do a good job at something you love so dearly. “Please don’t embarrass me” says the Naysayer. That is where total strangers come in. Once again, strangers don’t know who you are as a person. So all they see is your abilities, your talent! They want a piece of that vitality so they buy your album or that art piece that made them feel good and show it off to their friends. While your friends and family continue to judge you quietly. They don't know if you're good at it or not. They are so busy judging you that they have not taken the timeout to check it out for themselves. Especially if it's not up their alley.
Laugh Out Loud!
What’s worse is the moment they see other people supporting you, they are now interested in what they have not seen in front of them for so many years. I have over 4000 ‘friends’ on Facebook, 654 people follow me. Out of all those numbers you know how many support my work and share my work? About 500 give or take. If I have over 4000 ‘friends’ on Facebook and 500 people support my work, is my friend’s list still so high?
If you can relate to what I just figured out. Keep this in mind. This is it! I’m going to say it! People stick around so they will not be left behind just in case you do become successful. Just in case! You know who they are. Your… “Just in case you blow up friends!” They peek on your social media pages every now and then but they will not say a word. Those things that can be useful to them will win every time.
If you're going to share things don’t look for anything in return. You may not ever see them again anyway!
Continue to be your DOPE self. Your success should not be dramatic, it should be enjoyable, humbling and a learning experience. This is where you delve deeper into your passion. Make waves with your deep-sea. Whoever those 500 people are that have been supporting you, pay attention to them.
Write their names down, make a mental note of who they are. Make sure you save a free gift for them when things begin to roll. They are your elite and will be the first people on your list to call for your gratitude party. In my case, even though my mother never asked for help, the people that were supportive blessed her in ways that she will never be able to repay them. Today my mother is a well-respected judge in North Carolina and she remembers who supported her by their first and last name. Even though they didn’t have social media back then her supporters found a way to follow her and have her back. Who are your 500 or less enthusiasts? Tag them and remind them of what’s to come. Share their work and show them off! They would love that virtual adoration, trust me.