Updated: Sep 12, 2021
By Natasha Renee
My alarm goes off. I hit the snooze button. I looked up at the ceiling and say to myself.
"I am beautiful, I am successful and I have the perfect life."
I buried my head back under the covers. I tell myself that every morning. Some would call it motivation. I call it a false reality. It's Monday morning and I'm not ready for this week to begin. Lately the weeks tend to repeat themselves. With my busy schedule I don't have time for change. Monday through Friday I work. Saturday and Sunday I spend time with my six year old twin boys. My life is complete and I don't need anything else.
That's a lie. There is one thing that's missing. A relationship.
It's been five years since I've been in a serious relationship. I've just been playing it safe and not enjoying the single life. Maybe I need to change things up.
I'm 31 years old, 5’6" thick build and everyone says I have the most beautiful eyes they've ever seen. I'm pretty active when I'm not working. I do workout at times. But my workouts usually consists of me looking at the eye candy at the gym. I'm an interior decorator living in the suburbs of Philadelphia. I own my home and business. So why am I single?
By this time both of my alarms were going off, which means it's time to get up or I'll be late for work.
My office is located on Chestnut Street in Center City, Philadelphia.
"Good Morning Rachel."
Rachel is my assistant. She has been working for me for almost two years now, and other than my boys she is the next best thing in my life.
"Good morning. You have two appointments today, and your first appointment is here"
When I looked towards my office door, my mouth dropped. There he was, a handsome specimen of a man sitting outside of my office. He was tall dark and handsome. I knew right away he was a ladies man. Every physical feature you wanted in a man, and I guarantee he had it. But there was one problem. He was my Ex.
"What are you doing here?"
"I'm your 10 o'clock appointment."
I ran towards my office and I slammed the door shut.
Still holding the door knob while my back leaned against the door I spaced out. So many memories were going on in my head. We were just together last week. He was in town and we had drinks that night, and that morning was the last time I saw his face until today.
My Ex and I had been on and off for several years. We tried that whole relationship thing. He started telling me he was ready for a serious relationship. It seemed like every time things got serious between us he would disappear for months. And whenever I thought he was out of my life he would always pop up. I would always take him back. I took a deep breath and opened the door. He went in first and I followed.
"I guess you can come in and take a seat."
He walked in and I closed my door behind me slowly.
"What are you doing here?"
"I wanted to see you."
"You could have called me."
"Now, if I would have called we both know you wouldn't have answered."
He was right. A week prior I found out he was still in a relationship with his daughter's mother. They were off and on like him and I were. They had gotten serious maybe two years ago when she found out that we were in the process of purchasing a home together. I later found out she sent him an email after we were about to settle in to our home. He had never logged out of my laptop, and when I opened it the email was right there. That was the time he left and never came back until recently.
"So you thought it was best to just come to my job."
"I made an appointment."
"And make sure you pay my assistant before you leave."
His smile began fading and you could see sadness overwhelmed his face. He opened his mouth to speak and nothing came out. He then looked me directly in my eyes and said.
"When I saw you a few weeks ago I forgot to mention one thing. I got married last month."
I smiled and shook my head.
Then I smirked and called him an Idiot. He wasn’t shocked by the comment. I knew that he was married the night we stayed together. I saw the ring when I went into his hotel bathroom. I knew I had a choice that night but I decided to stay.
He knew how I felt about our situation. We never talked about it but he knew I would never say anything to ruin what he had because there was a child involved. But it is a process and a way to handle delicate situations. Some people feel it's easier to walk away when times get rough. Some never come back no matter how they feel. But those are the selfish ones. They forget about how the other person is feeling and how their decisions will affect others. In this case I knew in my heart that someday we would get married. That reality ended the moment he stepped into my office.
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